I wonder how it feels to have to listen to endless news coverage, repetitive analyses, of the same people everyday for the whole of a year;

I wonder how it feels to be courted by ads and strangers who talk about issues that I care, or they think that I care;

I wonder how it feels when I receive a call from future president on my cell phone;

I wonder how it feels when I am engaged in hot argument with coworkers, not over fridge use, but over last night's presidential debate;

I wonder how it feels to volunteer making hundreds of phone calls to sell a fundraiser table to the rich people living on Park Avenue;

I wonder how it feels to get up at 6:00am just to wait in a long line in a cold winter morning;

I wonder how it feels to caste a vote that I know would change nothing but at the same time could change everything;

I wonder how it feels when I know that millions of my countrymen are eagarly awaiting the result in front of a TV, just like me;

I finally finished processing photos I took during my drive from Houston to Stanford......My next challenge is to process the photos since I arrived here and the photos of last Christmas....I need a fellowship to do this kind of work!

 

Dear Time magazine:

I am a Beijinger and came to US for graduate study seven years ago. I found Mr. Simon Elegant’s article in your May 5th issue interesting and would like to provide a perspective of my own. 

The article title raised a very good question: why China is mad, and it answered the question fairly well, but not by what Mr. Elegant talked about in the article though. Instead, he answered the question by exactly what he did not say.

Mr. Elegant attributed the recent Chinese demonstration to the "xenophobic" eduction that Chinese people receive from the Chinese government. This could not be further away from the truth. Every year, tens of thousands of the best Chinese young talents come to USA for studying. In fact, this is encouraged by Chinese education system. For instance, English is one of the mandatory courses that every Chinese high school student has to pass in order to graduate. How would Mr.Elegant think this could happen in a xenophobic society? Mr. Elegant pointed out that Chinese students were taught about the Opium War in their history classes as an example of the xenophobic eduction. However, the Opium War is as much true history as the Independence War. Is Mr.Elegant going to suggest that the American education is also xenophobic? In fact, if Mr.Elegant ever bothered to read Chinese textbooks, he would find so many westerner names: Marie Curie, Dr. Henry Norman Bethune, Edison, Washington, just to name a few. These names are just as admired by Chinese people as Li Bai, Du Fu.

So why is China mad? Throughout the article, Mr. Elegant did not spend a single word asking the question what the West exactly did that provoked such anger. It apparently never dawn to Mr. Elegant that, as a journalist, he could have at least TRIED to understand the situation from the point of view of the Chinese people and ask the possibility whether the West could have understood China better and handled things differently. Instead of bringing understandings to his American readers, Mr. Elegant branded the situation as "unpleasant" from the very first paragraph, and thus, led his readers to further misunderstanding. It is exactly such kind of arrogance, and the resulted biased portrayal of China that brought about the anger that Mr. Elegant felt so unhappy about. This is also why I would not expect Time magazine to publish this letter of mine, or letters that are similar to my view.

Finally, although I terribly sympathize with Mr. Elegant's distressed situation, I must say that many of his peers seem to handle much worse situations in other parts of the world with a lot more ease, without throwing accusations in their writings that are so personal and emotional. Mr. Elegant sounded like he was unprepared for the comments by Chinese blogger, which I found rather odd, since he should have known better that disagreeable voices are the nature of democracy. Despite his warnings to the world, I believe the world wants to discover China with their own eyes. Let time and reality tell how much warm welcome every guest will receive in China.

Sinerely

做饭的时候，随机听电脑里的老歌，突然响起了“真的爱你”。

窗外加州清爽的夜晚中有很多灯火。

觉得好像爬山在半山腰，突然停下来回望来时的路的感觉。

其实走过什么路不重要，重要的是跟谁一起走过。

不是么？

青云冥冥晚落日，

挥手六载非与是，

今夕有酒还需尽，

明朝千里无相识。

我个人觉着，好多人把集结号比作拯救大兵瑞恩或者太极旗飘扬是把集看简单了。

 

先说太，除了场面，演员肤色和士兵着装有相似以外，其他的真的没法比。太说起来讲的是兄弟亲情，which is, to say the best, irrevelent in a war。张东健爱元彬胜过爱国，这很感人，可是难道打仗的时候不都是兄弟战死这样的事情，哪有来得及叛国。这不等于就像让东方不败为了令狐冲背叛魔教一样离谱么。

 

拯的主题要复杂的多。牺牲六个人救一个人，值不值。这个问题让我当时在看完这个电影以后感叹高深不已，但是又好像略有些觉得不妥。直到今天看了集，我才知道是哪里不妥。原来拯的这个中心主题问的有点远了。牺牲六个拯救一个，值不值？那牺牲六个拯救六个，就值么？那要是救了一千个呢，是不是值到都不值得一问了？

 

能问出拯这样问题的人，明显是站在战争以外作为局外人来评判的。我觉得集最让我震动的地方－－也许有因为是自己同胞的关系－－是让我有一种从一个士兵眼中看战争的感觉。影片的很多故事是在战争之后展开的，这是它高明的地方。只要你没死，你就还活着。老连长在战后的现实生活中挣扎, this is what war is all about。

 

(spoiler!)集结号吹了，连长因为自己没听见结果不让连里的人撤退， 我对他景仰； 牺牲的兄弟被算作失踪，老连长走遍天下为兄弟们讨个公道，我觉得他悲壮；末了原来集结号根本没吹过，连里的兄弟们说严重了是临阵脱逃，so what? 牺牲的不还是牺牲了么，敌人不还是被阻退了么？自愿的还是被迫的有什么区别？我觉得我对谷连长和他的弟兄们的景仰丝毫没减。相反，我倒觉得原来烈士们跟我一样也是人，所以我会设身处地想，换了是自己肯定没人家这么大勇气。我的景仰不仅没少，反而更多了，还平添了一份对现实的感叹。

 

打个比方，拍一部显示biology ph.d.的电影。如果拍我跟同事亲密如兄弟的战友关系，那实在是, what can i say, irrelevent。或者比方说拍这样个主题：花四年时间，做无数实验，熬数不清的不眠之夜，就为来发一篇cell，值还是不值？这是个好问题，但是也许对我们这些身处其中，疲于奔命的人来说，讨论这个问题实在是有点好笑。因为每个过来人可能都会这样回答：who cares, i just want it to be over.  现实中，哪有这么多时间让人把什么事情都想的明明白白的，也没有哪件事情真能让你想的明明白白的，唯一在忙碌之余有功夫想的可能只是：该干得都干了，连ph.d.都拿了，so what?

 

所以我觉得，好多人把集结号比作拯救大兵瑞恩或者太极旗飘扬是把集看简单了。

 

对了，最后不得不说冯导说故事的本领是越来越好了，这么多伏笔插叙，故事层层拨开，导演之高超直比今年奥斯卡大热门atonement (which i like a lot)。I believe a movie can only be as good as the director。赞一个。

Dear Editors:

 

    Being an avid reader of your magazine as well as a Chinese twenties-something who have lived in US for over six years, I would like to provide a perspective on Simon Elegant's study of contemporary Chinese youth. The article is very revealing in its present tense, but is rather partial in its interpretation within the context of China's recent history.

 

I could almost hear your American readers' horrified gasp at Vicky's claim that a government crackdown of the demonstrations in 1989 was “necessary”. It's not like we are hopelessly negligent of those demonstrators' courage to challenge the government, but have you realized that the 1989 event was only one in a string of events during the past 100 years that Chinese young people involved themselves in politics? 88 years ago, a similar student demonstration broke out in Beijing against the then Kuomintang government and was cracked down violently. The event, however, ended up bringing communism to China. Many people who were involved in that demonstration later became leaders of the communism movement and contributed to the party's eventual coming to power. About fifty years later, another youth-against-authority movement broke out, but this time, only to bring about the Culture Revolution, starting two decades of political turmoil and economic collapse. How do you think the young people of China today could reconcile together these very dramatically different and confusing outcomes of youth-involved-in-politics? I would be more cautious than to interpret their seemingly indifference to politics as naive contentment with our country. I rather think it is the result of a mixture of wariness and pragmatic faith in social evolution.

 

Besides, the Chinese youth today is by no means as naively self-centered as the article depicted, at least no more than their American peers based on my own experience. On the other hand, they are very knowledgeable, not just that most Chinese high school graduates can do 3-digit arithmetic in their heads, but rather that, as mentioned in the article, they are very eager to learn about the world. There is no problem for any Chinese youth to locate New York or London on a world map. More than half of my Chinese friends here have been to Yellowstone within 5 years of their coming to the US, yet, less than 20% of my American friends are even interested in going to national parks, let alone actually been there. So why else would they want to see the world so much if the Chinese youths are really as naively content with China as the article suggested? And who is to say that with such knowledge of the world and the inevitable comparison with other countries they would in fact impede the development of democracy in China? I always think that the best thing that Chinese government can do right now for promoting democracy is not a ill-carried out public election but rather to raise literacy among its people; the best thing it can do for global warming is not to buy green credits but to control its population, both of which are being done.

 

    Finally, to love and praise one's motherland is not a matter of patriotism but rather a matter of manner. We have a thousand years old saying: the son shall not be ashamed of his mother's ugliness just like a dog would never desert its master for poor food.

 

    Once again, I really appreciate your constant revealing work to address world issues and at the same time, attention to everyday lives of people.

 Yours sincerely 

"For you, a thousand times over."

 

Three times, three people, three decades.

 

The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini.

 

There are people who cry over a particularly touching paragraph in a book. I've never done that. Not when Sam carried Frodo onto his back; not when Harry burried Dobbin with bare hands. But I did something more than crying this time with this book: I choked on it. At one point reading the book, I was filled with so much sorrow and regret for the main character that I could not read it any more. I put it down and let myself be calmed by cigerrettes. Just like when you chocke on boiled egg. You don't cry over the pain. You just try to stay still and bear with the pain snailed through you, inch by inch.

 

Powerful and haunting.

 

Have you had anyone in your life who would stand up against anything for you? Have you done anything that make you not deserve that person's love for you? Haver you done anything you regret so much that you have to make youself hate that person because if you don't your soul falls apart? Have you had anyone in your life whom you would do anything to please yet you never could? What if the closest thing you ever did that pleased that person ended up putting a curse on your soul for the rest of your life?

 

"But no one woke up and in the silence that followed, I understood the nature of my new curse: I was going to get away with it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"By the way, Harry," said Professor Dumbledore halfway through book six, "a prophecy says that you alone can defeat evil Lord Voldemort. That's why he keeps trying to kill you. You must destroy all seven pieces of his soul, and you've got one book left to do it in. Don't expect any help from me; I'll be dramatically murdered in two chapters' time. Besides that, there's exams to pass and hormonal stirrings to contend with. Now do you wish you'd gone to that Muggle comprehensive?"  

Speechless, as if bound by a Silence charm,

Mind blown away, as if stunned by Confundus,

Go and live, Harry,

At the Kingcross station of everyday life, 

I am content with that glimpse at the back of my mind,

Where once existed that big lake and the old castle,

Where the wind wispers,

That tale of a young boy becoming a man,

That tale which I know I'll share,

With generations to come,

With generations to hear,

That tale,

Of love, of compassion

Of bravery and dare

 

有三个人在路上走。路边的公园里并排树立着三个烟囱，高矮不一的挨着。

第一个人说：这是三个通气管，

第二个人说：这是个现代雕塑，

第三个人说：这是个美丽而别致的东西。

 

 

 

早上，metro rail上，到站了，车门开了。我看见不远外一个穿着正式的白领小姐，一边与高跟鞋搏斗一边很夸张的跑到就在车门边的rail ticket machine，然后气喘吁吁的在她那深不见底的LV包里摸索着。好不容易掏出一块钱送进去，偏偏那machine没有动静。于是我在车门徐徐关上的同时，看见她懊恼的拍着那个高深莫测的机器－－还有就在门快关上的时候，钻进车厢的流浪汉。

 

我环顾周围，不知道是不是别人也在想我发现自己在想的问题：连metro rail不怎么查票都不知道，怎么混成白领的？